May 25, 2007 at 10:55 am ·
Filed under 3 - Dear Doug...
Dear Doug: Mommie Dearest
Dear Doug:
My mother and I have not gotten along since my early school years, when she frequently embarrassed me in front of my friends. Unfortunately, this made me hesitate before inviting her to my upcoming wedding, but since she's my only living relative I felt she should give me away.
She was so excited she had me invite her friends. When she found out about the open bar we will have at the reception, her friends turned out to be her drinking buddies.
My mother is volatile and unpredictable. In one recent fit of anger, she made ugly remarks about my wedding; a week later, she acted as if such comments were never made. I don't know how to ...
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May 25, 2007 at 10:54 am ·
Filed under 4 - Alcoholic Myth of the Month
"Smokers Take More Sick Leave, Make Poorer Workers."
So said a Bloomberg headline, reporting what we already knew--smokers are less healthy than non-smokers. A Swedish study found that smokers took an average 34 sick days a year, with 20 taken by those who never smoked. The overall average of 25 days a year far exceeds the United States average of nine.
Let's assume that the percentage difference is similar in the U.S., and the far higher number of sick days is a result of the disincentive effect of Swedish socialism. Is it really the smoking-- or is the smoking an indication of something else that instead may be the underlying cause of less healthy and productive workers?
A study of almost 5,500 women ...
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May 25, 2007 at 10:54 am ·
Filed under 5 - Amazing Alcoholic Antics
Story from "This is True" by Randy Cassingham, with his "tagline:"
"PUBLIC HUMILIATION IN THE INTERNET ERA: Visitors at a park in Mason, Ohio, called police after an apparently drunk man climbed into his pickup truck and started driving around, including near the children's play area. When an officer arrived, "I observed [the suspect] to be wearing a very skimpy woman's ... bikini with two tan water balloons taped to the top to simulate two woman's breasts and a pair of pink Speedo flip-flop sandals," Officer Scott Miller said in his report. Steven S. Cole, 46, a volunteer firefighter who had emergency lights on his truck, was also wearing a blond wig, and allegedly had a blood alcohol level of .174 ...
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May 23, 2007 at 1:16 pm ·
Filed under General
A journalist asks whether children can sometimes provide the wake-up call an addicted parent needs?
Sure, a child can serve as a wake-up call to an addicted parent--particularly if there's a credible threat of the child being taken away. Since we never know how great the pain a particular addict must endure, this promise (the active addiction must stop, or...) should always be made.
By the way, clue # 10 in the chapter entitled "Poor Judgment" in my book "How to Spot Hidden Alcoholics" is out-of-control children. They are an excellent clue to alcoholism in a parent you may not even know.
Whitney Houston's mother threatened to take Whitney's child from her in the intervention that seems to have put Whitney on ...
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May 17, 2007 at 3:28 pm ·
Filed under General
A journalist asks: "I'm exploring a case of husbands and wives who together have been charged or convicted in white-collar crimes. How often does this happen? Are spouses involved in this type of crime more likely to face conspiracy charges? Do they often work at the same company, and what are some of the dynamics (emotional, marriage) that might drive spouses to conspire in white-collar criminal activities?"
Almost ever convict has had problems with alcohol and/or other drugs. Since ex-cons in recovery rarely commit crimes, we can generally assume most convicts are alcohol or other-drug addicts. Why would white-collar crime be any different from other crime?
Turns out, in my research, it isn't. Charles Ponzi was an alcoholic, as were most ...
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May 14, 2007 at 2:55 pm ·
Filed under General
A journalist asks whether a divorce can be good for kids?
Since 40% of divorces involve alcoholism on one side or the other, 40% of the children of divorced couples are psychologically, verbally and emotionally abused by one or both parents.
A divorce could be the best thing that ever happened for the child, IF he or she ends up with the right (non-addicted) parent. And, in many instances a divorce is just what the addicted parent needed to inspire in him or her a need to get and stay sober. (Not as frequently as we would like, but it's one more bit of pain the addict so desperately needs.)
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May 8, 2007 at 4:35 pm ·
Filed under General
"Today's commuters, battling bad drivers and their own hair triggers, need more help, to avoid contusions from baseball bats, fatal car accidents, and even heart attacks from the stress. What might they understand about their fellow drivers to help them better cope?"
They should understand that the drivers who are most inconsiderate of others and the most reckless are probably alcoholics, many of whom are under the influence.
DUIs are the one area of life where the likelihood of being under the influence and poor behaviors have been studied. A National Highway Traffic Safety Administration study showed that 60% of drivers who make obscene gestures are DUI, as are 35% of those who cut in line and 50% of tailgaters. Why would ...
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May 8, 2007 at 4:30 pm ·
Filed under General
"What explains raunch culture, particularly the psychology of women who embrace things like 'Girls Gone Wild?'"
Early-stage alcohol and other-drug addiction is characterized by an inflated ego and a need to wield power over others and be in control. Last night's repeat of "House" was a classic portrayal of a 15-year-old super-model addict who schtooped her business manager, her agent, her financial advisor and finally, even, her father with the goal of controlling them all. Addicts can be brilliant.
Those less capable resort to other tactics, consistent with their innate abilities, looks, environment and circumstances. Some female addicts become supermodels and actresses (Elizabeth Taylor is a stand-out, having married six times before heading to Betty Ford), while others become whores. The ...
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May 7, 2007 at 2:58 pm ·
Filed under General
A journalist asks:
"Do graphic images of mutilated bodies of DUI victims help stop teens from drinking and driving? If that doesn't work, what does?"
Emphatically Yes and No--Yes, such graphic images do help teens understand they should not drink and drive and No, such graphic images do NOT help teens understand they should be stone-cold sober when driving.
Huh?
Depends on which teens you're talking about--those not predisposed to alcoholism and those who are so predisposed. After all, those predisposed have likely already triggered an incipient alcoholism (average age 13) and, therefore, already think they are more invincible than they already think by virtue of being teenagers. And alcoholics are not easily deterred from engaging in misbehaviors. (Non-addicts can be educated; ...
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May 4, 2007 at 1:28 pm ·
Filed under 1 - Top Stories
An Addict's Rage--Mass Murderer Cho
Until recently I often said, "Not every mass murderer in U.S. history has been an alcohol or other-drug addict. For example, Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh may not have been one. On the other hand, I wouldn't be shocked. By far the vast majority, no doubt, have been addicts."
I was wrong. An astute reader passed along a link with brief biographies of the three main perpetrators of the bombing, which disavowed me of the notion that McVeigh was the exception to the rule. Most interesting is that the biography of McVeigh includes no mention of drug use--more evidence that biographers lack an understanding of the importance of addiction in explaining the behavior of their subjects. Instead, ...
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May 4, 2007 at 1:27 pm ·
Filed under 1 - Top Stories
Runners-up for top story of the month:
"Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis, 34, indicted on two counts of tax evasion following his arrest on a contempt-of-court citation stemming from a civil case in Florida, where he is being held. The tax charge alleges he deducted more than $20 million in false business expenses on corporate returns in 2002 and 2003, including $3.78 million for building a residence in Punta Mita, Mexico (the northernmost point in the Bahia de Banderas, where Puerto Vallarta lies). The federal grand jury indictment also alleges he used offshore bank accounts to conceal income. His attorney, Jan L. Handzlik, said the indictment was unwarranted and should be, at most, a civil dispute.
The question a Drug Addiction ...
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May 4, 2007 at 1:25 pm ·
Filed under 1 - Top Stories
Under watch:
Actor Alec Baldwin, whose divorce from actress Kim Basinger reads like "War of the Roses," leaving an angry phone message for his 12- er, 11-year old daughter Ireland. Both Baldwin and Basinger have been on my radar for years. I learned long ago that the addict in a familial relationship can easily be misidentified and that in the case of Baldwin v. Basinger, we really can't know if it's him, her or both. However, as recovering alcoholics readily admit, the movie "War of the Roses" starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner was a story requiring alcohol or other-drug addiction in either or both. So it likely is with Baldwin/Basinger.
Durham, North Carolina District Attorney Mike Nifong, roundly condemned by North ...
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May 4, 2007 at 1:24 pm ·
Filed under 1 - Top Stories
Co-Dependents of the Month:
A "codependent" is someone who is or has been in a committed relationship with an alcohol or other-drug addict, or has been severely and negatively affected by one. Director Bob Clark, 67, best known for "Porky" and the holiday classic, "A Christmas Story," and his son, Ariel Hanrath-Clark, 22, unfortunately became such codependents for the instant before they both died in a head-on crash. Hector Velazquez-Nava, 24, was arrested for DUI and gross vehicular manslaughter after driving his 2007 GMC Yukon north in the southbound lanes of Pacific Coast Highway into the Clark's 1997 Infiniti Q30 at 2:30 in the morning. There were no doubt dozens--or hundreds--of incidents for which friends, family or the law could have ...
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May 4, 2007 at 1:23 pm ·
Filed under 1 - Top Stories
Enabler of the Month:
Playboy Magazine, which featured Anna Nicole Smith as the May 2007 cover story, continuing the sort of enabling that resulted in her untimely demise. To their credit, she was described from the start as being "moody, very needy, expecting first-class treatment all the time." According to Playboy's former Director of Public Relations, Elizabeth Norris, the magazine didn't do a publicity tour for her first pictorial because she sounded "silly." Smith, in classic alcoholic fashion, was described as resentful for not getting to do the tour. The story also suggested the need to walk on eggshells when dealing with her (she was "furious" when the centerfold story made her sound like a glutton). Either of these behaviors would ...
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May 4, 2007 at 1:23 pm ·
Filed under 6 - Public Policy Recommendations
Release the Records
One way by which the public can learn and begin to understand that no rational motive is required for murder, whether mass or otherwise, is to require the release of toxicology reports and all medical records relating to psychotropic drugs of a person charged with murder. Yes, charged with murder--not just for those convicted, since the fact that someone is on psychotropic drugs is relevant to the determination of the likelihood of that person committing such acts. If there are no psychotropics on board, the odds substantially increase that the person arrested is innocent and that someone else is far more likely to have committed the deed. For those who believe that this might increase the odds of ...
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