Lots of runners-up, including a Congressman who thinks Guam could tip over and sink.
Runners-up for top story of the month:
Tiger Woods, who has reportedly blamed cheating on his drug addiction which, he says, impaired his judgment. This is one of those classic instances where almost everyone is looking in the wrong place: his obvious sexual compulsions. Since alcohol and other-drug addiction most often provides the springboard for compulsive behaviors, especially of the destructive variety, they are eyeing only a symptom (and probably one of many that go unreported). It’s also said that a full-time outpatient therapist now monitors Tiger to keep him from taking drugs and cheating. Most people still think he is merely a “sex addict” and that once this is treated everything will be fine. Memo to Tiger: no, it won’t be, unless you stay clean and sober.
Former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, 40, the subject of the April-May 2008 TAR top story (well worth re-reading), sentenced to up to five years in prison for violating the terms of his probation after pleading guilty to lying under oath and obstruction of justice in 2008. His latest violation is, as were misbehaviors cited in the above-mentioned classic story, consistent with a diagnosis of alcoholism: he fell behind in payments for restitution to the city of Detroit and told the court he was able to pay only $6 per month on his—are you ready?—six-figure salary from a sales job at Compuware, a software company.
City Administrative Officer Miguel Santana, 40, the top financial officer for Los Angeles, who checked into rehab days after an arrest for suspicion of DUI. He was driving home in a city-owned car from a charity roast, which was also reportedly a fundraiser, for L.A. County District Attorney Steve Cooley. Clue to alcoholism: using a city car on unofficial business. Bigger clue: financial disarray. Clue to other alcoholics nearby: it’s tough for only one guy to run a city into the ground.
Former San Bernardino County Supervisor Bill Postmus, 39, arrested on suspicion of accepting $100,000 in bribes paid by a developer to vote in support of a settlement between it and the county, funneled into a campaign account and personal meals and entertainment. Perhaps the “entertainment” part was used to buy the methamphetamine authorities say they found in his home a year earlier and again when he was arrested for corruption.
Minnesota businessman Thomas J. Petters, 52, (one of the subjects of the white collar criminals top story in the May 2009 TAR) sentenced to 50 years in federal prison for orchestrating a $3.7 billion Ponzi scheme. To lure so many investors and capital into a fraudulent scheme, one must be smooth, suave, charming and great at lying or misleading others. Petters’ mantra was, to “build connections or relationships, you can’t survive without trust.” This is true, and he was obviously expert at building that trust. However, one might think the implication is that “trust” means “mutually profitable relationships.” In the case of an addict, one would think wrongly.
Insurance broker James R. Halstead, who pleaded guilty to promising victims returns of 25% to 35% over three to four months and then using new investors’ deposits to pay the earlier investors (aka, running a Ponzi scheme). Clue to alcoholism: committing a felony. Bigger clue: he spent the loot lavishly, including $353,000 on a Ferrari and Porsche. Final nail: he spent $1million on a house in Henderson, NV where Halstead, who is 63, is alleged to have spent tens of thousands of dollars partying (euphemism for “plenty of alcohol”) with friends.
University of Virginia lacrosse player George Huguely, accused of killing fellow student Yeardley Love, 22, a women’s lacrosse player. A local who has for two decades known the Huguely family, which has owned a large building supply company in the D.C. area for generations, described George as “terrifically polite, full of life, very friendly….All the news makes George to be [a] monster. That isn’t him. Some other spirit must have taken over him.” Clue to the idea that the spirit was the sort commonly found in 80-proof bottles: he (admittedly) shook Ms. Love violently, banging her head repeatedly against a wall. Bigger clue: Love’s friends said Huguely had a temper and “may” have “abused” alcohol. Final nail: when Huguely was convicted in 2009 of public intoxication and resisting arrest in 2008, the arresting officer felt so threatened she used a stun gun on Huguely. Oh, and he didn’t remember that incident, or reportedly several alcohol-fueled fights he had with Love. And more: he’d been drinking all day before killing her. “May” have “abused” alcohol? Because friends and family didn’t grasp the meaning of his drinking—that this was a completely different and potentially lethal person when using—no one intervened and tragedy happened.
And speaking of lacrosse, Crystal Gayle Mangum, 33, the woman who four years ago falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of rape, arrested for assaulting her boyfriend, setting his clothes on fire in a bathtub, threatening to stab him and then resisting arrest. (This sort of insanity is a good indicator that meth is on board.)
Would-be terrorist “Jihad Jane” Colleen LaRose, 47, who had a burning desire to “kill or die trying” and boasted it was “an honor & great pleasure to die or kill for” jihad, arrested for soliciting funds for terrorist organizations. While some former neighbors were “shocked” by the allegations, one referred to her as a “crazy lady.” The latter mentioned in an interview that she rarely left her apartment except at night, “when she would go drinking and get into fights.” Still, other neighbors insisted that although they knew she was crazy, “we never knew she was dangerous.” Repeat after me: we cannot predict how dangerous an alcoholic may become, the form it will take, or when….we cannot predict how dangerous an alcoholic may become, the form it will take, or when….
And speaking of lacrosse, Crystal Gayle Mangum, 33, the woman who four years ago falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of rape, arrested for assaulting her boyfriend, setting his clothes on fire in a bathtub, threatening to stab him and then resisting arrest. (This sort of insanity is a good indicator that meth is on board.)
Would-be terrorist “Jihad Jane” Colleen LaRose, 47, who had a burning desire to “kill or die trying” and boasted it was “an honor & great pleasure to die or kill for” jihad, arrested for soliciting funds for terrorist organizations. While some former neighbors were “shocked” by the allegations, one referred to her as a “crazy lady.” The latter mentioned in an interview that she rarely left her apartment except at night, “when she would go drinking and get into fights.” Still, other neighbors insisted that although they knew she was crazy, “we never knew she was dangerous.” Repeat after me: we cannot predict how dangerous an alcoholic may become, the form it will take, or when….we cannot predict how dangerous an alcoholic may become, the form it will take, or when….
And speaking of unusual forms that addiction can take, self-taught computer hacker Albert Gonzalez, 28, sentenced to 20 years for selling data stolen from millions of credit-card holders and costing businesses hundreds of millions of dollars, largely Heartland Payment Systems, Inc. and TJX. Gonzalez’s attorney Martin Weinberg explained that Gonzalez was unable to stop himself from committing the crimes because of drug “abuse,” an Internet addiction and symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome. Prosecutors, who said the case was the largest and most costly computer crime in U.S. history, called Gonzalez a “calculating businessman” and claimed he threw himself a $75,000 birthday party, once lamented having to count more than $340,000 by hand, took in $2.8 million from hacking and buried $1.1 million in his parent’s back yard.
Keith Gough, a 2005 British lottery winner, dead from a heart attack at age 58, destitute. A relative explained it was “a combination of carelessness, naivety and generosity” that led to his blowing the entire $17 million in less than five years. The relative failed to identify the “parties—lots of parties,” as a clue to another fatal disease, which no doubt was the root cause of his lavish spending.
Congressman Hank Johnson (Dem., GA) worried about the impact of troops stationed on Guam, a long and narrow island. “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,” Johnson said during a House Armed Services Committee meeting, with a totally straight face. The video, at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9R-cQ_A_6w, is priceless.