Abusive Ex-Boyfriend and Likely Alcoholism
Dear Doug,
Since I moved away from my ex-boyfriend several months ago, our relationship has taken a turn for the worse. He verbally abuses me over the phone, threatens to beat me and has promised to ruin my life. He tells me he wants me back and loves me and, in the same breath, tells me he hates me. Could his verbal abuse turn into something worse?
Signed,
Afraid
. . . . .
Dear Afraid,
While other columnists might say that “people who love each other do not treat each other”this way and that your ex- has become obsessed, the truth of the matter is that sober people do not treat others this way and that alcoholics, in the active stages of their disease, are far more likely to become obsessed than others. Other columnists might suggest you warn him that if he persists, you will inform police and that under no circumstances should you have anything to do with him. While correct, it’s imperative to understand that if his obsessions and abuse is driven by alcoholism (the odds are 80% absent proof of addictive use), that his behaviors could easily become far worse. You need to act to protect yourself in any way necessary.
(Source for story idea: Dear Abby, October 8, 2005.)