I often tell those dealing with addicts, “Don’t argue. You never know what might hit you.”
Alcoholic Antic-of-the-Month
Story from “This is True” by Randy Cassingham, with his “tagline:”
“RIGHT IN THE TOOL OF HIS TRADE: Lawyer Louis Brunoforte was having a beer at the Chic-A-Boom Room (no, really!) in Dunedin, Fla. When he came back from the restroom, a woman was sitting in his chair looking through her purse. He waited until she looked up. “She asked me if I had a problem,” Brunoforte said. “I said, ‘I’m just waiting for you to finish so I can sit in my chair.’ She said, ‘Oh, it’s your chair? Has it been your chair forever?'” She then cursed him, so he cursed her back, and that’s when the woman hit the 6-foot-tall, 240-pound attorney. “She cold-cocked me right in the mouth,” Brunoforte said. “She threw a punch like a man would throw a punch. She completely caught me off guard.” The bartender called the cops. By the time officers arrived the woman had left, but they found her driving nearby, and arrested Rachel Adams, 45, for battery — and drunk driving. (St. Petersburg Times) …”
This was a “tagline challenge,” where Randy lets his readers create the “best ending to the story.” My favorites included “…She should have warned him that the bar was named after her” (from Jill in California), “…A good lawyer who stands up for his rights can take a good right” (Bill in Minnesota), “…So Tit For Tat is a legal expression? Who knew?” (Mike in Texas) and the winner, “…What a bad lawyer: she made a motion to strike and he was not ready to object?” I think the most apropos for antic-of-the-month, in which a likely addict deserved the Darwin Award but lived, was submitted by Mike in Missouri: “…Good thing the place wasn’t called the Chic-A-Bang room, or I hate to think what Adams could have pulled from her purse.” Then we would have discovered just how dangerous it can be to mess with an addict.
(Story and tagline from “This is True,” copyright 2009 by Randy Cassingham, used with permission.)