“Rachel Getting Married” is an excellent portrayal of early recovery.
“Rachel Getting Married”
Some critics describe Jonathan Demme’s (“Silence of the Lambs”) “Rachel Getting Married” as a movie about a marriage and how a multi-cultural and multi-racial society is getting comfortable with itself. One notes that Anne Hathaway’s Kym, out of rehab for the weekend, is quick to condemn everyone else at her sister Rachel’s wedding—but he (seemingly) has no idea why. Some mention that the younger brother drowned, but forget why (she lost control of the car she was driving while stoned out of her mind). Some claim it’s a movie you’d want to immediately see again. I doubt it, even if it’s worth seeing once.
There is decent AA dialogue, in which the “one drink is too many and 50 are not enough” and “I’m tired of having to start over again, everything I’d built up with my family had to be rebuilt—again” truisms are uttered. But this is a hard movie for many. Kym, who acts more like she’s spent one month in rehab rather than nine months, is impatient, nasty, hyper-emotional and excitable. She gives a “toast,” which is supposed to be about the bride and groom but is instead, in typical alcoholic fashion, all about her. Even when she proposes a 9th step of amends to her sister, played by Rosemarie DeWitt, for having passed out in the bathroom, flooded the house and passed bad checks, it’s all about her. Rachel points out that she had never received amends before from her—and now there’s a blanket apology in front of a bunch of (to her) strangers at Rachel’s wedding. It’s all about her, even in “recovery.”
Other reviewers completely miss the idea that this is the best movie about early recovery since “When a Man Loves a Woman.” “I can feel the judgment, mistrust and paranoia—it feels like the Salem Witch Trials around here!” She’s engaging in the time-honored alcoholic tradition of one finger pointed out and three pointed back. It’s a classic portrayal of what relapse prevention expert Terence Gorski refers to as PAWS—Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. This includes an inability to think clearly or concentrate, memory problems, learning difficulties, and emotional overreactions and numbness—all of which can lead to diminished self-esteem. PAWS can take months or even years to get past, while the brain slowly heals.
Rachel repeats some of her sister’s classic alcoholic lies that she told in her attempts to control others, especially their parents—“I lost my wallet,” “You’ll never believe this, but…,” “my landlord hates me,” “I’m pregnant,” and she became anorexic because “our uncle abused me.”
Numerous reviewers called Kym a narcissist. Yes, but she is an alcohol and other-drug addict first. Without this, her character makes no sense. As an addict—in fitful early recovery—she makes perfect sense. Most critics loved the movie. None of the group of four others with whom I attended gave it more than two and a half stars out of five. We all agreed that the film makers missed a terrific opportunity to contrast Kym with the best man, who was a long-time recovering addict with far healthier recovery. I’ll give it three—but only because of the excellent portrayal of early recovery, the painfully-evident emotional toll on the family, the professional “home-made” feel of the film and excellent acting, especially Anne Hathaway’s.