Should I get back with my ex-? I’m over 40 and don’t want to goof up the 2nd half.
Since roughly 40% of divorces involve an alcohol or other-drug addict on one side or the other, the first and foremost issue is to determine if the ex- is an addict and, if so, is he sober and for how long. If he’s not sober, forget it. If sober for only a year or two, tread very carefully. Date. Watch to see if he’s going to meetings. If he’s not, figure he runs a high risk of relapse and act accordingly.
I can’t speak as directly to the other 60% of divorces. However, in many cases a child of an alcoholic learned some bad behaviors from the alcoholic parent that may have contributed to the domestic strife. Alcoholism, therefore, has a major role in divorce and before exploring other issues, it must be ruled out–or dealt with appropriately. And if there is alcoholism, everything else is but a symptom.