What causes financial infidelity?
A journalist asks for statistical information regarding financial infidelity. Why would a spouse hide money and financial information from a loved one? Can money issues make or break a relationship–or is there an underlying cause preceding the money? Is there a connection between this and debt problems?
I wrote a book about this sort of thing: “Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse.” The book arose out of my experience as an Enrolled Agent tax professional and Certified Financial Planner in observing that financial abuse was almost always perpetrated by an alcohol or other-drug addict. The kind of abuse varies all over the map; the fact of abuse is a behavioral indication of addiction, often in the early hidden stages.
Much of the evidence is based on anecdotes and extrapolations. But consider just one from my book “Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse”: “The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc., reports that absenteeism among alcoholics or “problem drinkers” (read: early stage alcoholics) is four to eight times greater than for other employees and as much as 16 times greater among employees with alcohol and other-drug related problems.” Mike Brubaker (who wrote “Deadly Odds”) thinks half of compulsive gamblers are alcoholics. I have observed similar (anecdotal) statistics among compulsive spenders and, in fact, have identified alcoholics based on such initial evidence (later confirming addiction either through friends or because they went into recovery). Similarly, I have identified alcoholism in clients who delayed payment for services–again later confirming addiction on most occasions.
In my book “How to Spot Hidden Alcoholics: Using Behavioral Clues to Recognize Addiction in its Early Stages”, I cite Lucy Barry Robe (“Co-Starring Famous Women and Alcohol”) in the clue, “Has been married/divorced several times.” I wrote (in one of my more complex statistical sections; I usually try to keep it much simpler) that “86% of famous women in a sample group of addict women had been divorced at least once…and 45% were married at least three times, which applies to only 16% of all women in the U.S. It can be calculated from these statistics that the probability of alcoholism in a woman who has been married three times is almost four times greater than one who has been married only once. Since the “all women” figure (16 out of 100) includes the alcoholic women sample (45 out of 100 and roughly 10% of the population is addicted, when eliminating the alcoholic women, we find that less than 12% of non-alcoholic women have been married three times. Therefore, the likelihood is almost four times greater (45% to 12%). It would be higher, were it not for the fact that so many alcoholics die before having the opportunity to divorce and marry yet again. Up to 80% of all cases of divorce were attributable to alcoholism in the former Soviet Union…”
My top stories on actor Wesley Snipes http://www.preventragedy.com/pages/TAR/027.jan07.html and “Survivor” Richard Hatch http://www.preventragedy.com/pages/TAR/009.apr05.html and Michael Jackson http://www.preventragedy.com/pages/TAR/007.feb05.html are all stories of financial abuse. You’ll also find hedge fund operator Samuel Israel in the Under Watch and/or Runners-Up sections of the Sept and Nov 05 issues. You can do a name or other word search on the web site and, even better, this blog (where all the articles are posted individually).