Possible Financial Catastrophe
Dear Doug: Concerned for her Sister
Dear Doug:
My sister Lenore has been dating Benjamin for a year. While the family initially welcomed Ben, we have just learned of several pending charges and two convictions for forgery and writing bad checks. At the same time, Lenore discovered that credit accounts were recently opened in her name. When she accused Ben, he charmed her into believing he’s innocent.
Although Lenore knows that Ben used her debit card without asking, she has forgiven him. She even asked him to forgive her for having accused him of identity theft. The rest of the family is doing what it must to protect themselves, including banning him”and, because she is forever at his side, her”from their homes. However, Lenore seems totally taken by this con artist who, I fear, will cause her financial catastrophe. What can we do to help Lenore see the light?
Signed,
Concerned for her Sister
. . . . .
Dear Concerned,
Other columnists might note that Lenore is obviously not going to listen to reason and that this is “unfortunate”because Ben “sounds like a bad risk.”This dramatically understates the potential for a tornado-like aftermath. Such columnists might suggest that isolating Lenore isn’t a good idea when she may well suffer at the hands of Ben, and that you can meet her on neutral grounds. While correct, such advice doesn’t go nearly far enough because the end result will likely be tragic for your sister and, possibly, others with whom Ben comes into contact.
The problem is that Ben is likely an addict who may use methamphetamine. Investigators and attorneys with whom I have recently spoken believe that 60-80% of identity theft is committed by meth addicts, who are known to commit bizarre and unspeakably destructive crimes. Your sister’s finances are certainly at risk, but worse, her life may be in danger as well. In either case, she needs to be coerced out of the relationship by whatever means are necessary.
(Source for story idea: Annie’s Mailbox, January 17, 2006.)