Sometimes, it takes an addict. James Gandolfini, RIP.
James Gandolfini, best known for his role as Tony Soprano, dead of a heart attack at age 51. Whenever someone dies so young, addiction should be suspected. I knew little about him and his alter-ego (I was not a fan of The Sopranos), but quickly found a history of substance addiction in the actor (not to mention the character). During a nasty divorce in the early 2000s, Gandolfini went public about his drug use. However, he was arguably in damage-control mode, deflecting accusations by his then-soon-to-be ex-wife, Marcy Gandolfini, that he was a cocaine and booze binger who had “kinky sex with multiple mistresses” during their brief marriage. His chief enabler and representative, Dan Klores, claimed that “to bring [up the drug problem] now, as an attempt to gain leverage and a better settlement during the divorce, is just reprehensible.” We might instead suggest it is reprehensive to claim the use was “something from years ago…that he’s taken care of it,” as Klores put it, when he was married for only three years. Court papers filed by Marcy included “more than two dozen names of those she believes James did drugs with, including a number of Sopranos buddies.” Since court papers on James’ side portrayed Marcy as unhinged and threatening suicide after he moved out of their apartment barely 2 ½ years into their marriage, she also could be an addict and her claims could, therefore, be false. Of course, the claim that she was unhinged and threatened suicide may be a false accusation, so who the hell knows. The lives of addicts are so intertwined with lies and half-truths, the actual truth can be very difficult to discern.
One truth that is self-evident is Gandolfini’s ability to perform well while using, even if disappearing from The Sopranos set for days at a time. The show premiered on HBO in January 1999 and ran until June 2007. It was, at the time, the most financially successful series in the history of cable television and has been called by some the greatest TV series ever. It won 21 Emmys and five Golden Globes. It catapulted careers of both cast and crew, including Gandolfini’s, even though (or because?) he was likely drinking or using during most of the show’s filming. In 2003, Gandolfini’s manager Mark Armstrong stated he was “having a casual cocktail with a cast member,” yet maintained (apparently with a straight face), “As far as I know, he’s been sober.” We knew from Gandolfini that he’d been in rehab and was, therefore, a confirmed alcoholic. Alcoholics can never drink without risking a full-on relapse and, if they are drinking, they’ve relapsed. The only question with a relapse is how bad it will get—this time. Oh, and he was reportedly drinking Stoli straight, which isn’t even a “casual cocktail” (not that it would matter).
The New York Post reported Gandolfini’s final meal included at least eight alcoholic drinks. People who saw him at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings (apparently recently) said they didn’t think “he was serious about getting sober,” and these are folks who know who’s serious and who’s not. Another source said, “I can confirm he has been known to blow lines [of cocaine] and drink like an Irish sailor on weekend leave.” Photos show him looking haggard, drink in hand, in the days immediately preceding his death. Although the direct cause of death was a heart attack, the underlying cause was likely alcoholism and possibly cocaine use, which some claim he was using again in the days leading to his death (cocaine can trigger heart attacks). Gandolfini’s demise is yet another example of the tragic results of enabling by wealth, fans, managers and very likely well-meaning family and friends.
Note to family, friends and fans of the above: the benefit of the doubt is given by assuming alcoholism (they are either idiots and fundamentally rotten, or they are alcoholic/other drug addicts—which would explain the misbehaviors). If alcoholic, there is zero chance that behaviors, in the long run, will improve without sobriety. An essential prerequisite to sobriety is the cessation of enabling, allowing pain and crises to build. Thus far, many have done everything they can to protect the addict from the requisite pain, making these news events possible. The cure for alcoholism, consequential bad behaviors and, ultimately, tragedy, is simple: stop protecting the addict from the logical consequences of misbehaviors and, where possible, proactively intervene.