Gabrielle Glaser’s “Her Best Kept Secret” perpetuates numerous myths of addiction.
“Why She Drinks”
An article in The Wall Street Journal entitled “Why She Drinks,” which is an adaptation from the new book, Her Best Kept Secret by Gabrielle Glaser, begins by pointing out there is a profound difference between how men and women “abuse” alcohol and the purported reasons. While the ideas in the article may have been taken out of context, the myths they extol are dangerous for those looking for real reasons. That the genders are biologically different does not mean the common thread of abuse is any different between the sexes.
According to the article, women are the primary drinkers of wine. Additionally, the number of women arrested for DUI in the decade ending in 2007 rose 30%, but are still fewer than that of men, despite men’s arrests for DUI having dropped by 7%. In the decade ending in 2008 the number of young women landing in emergency rooms for being dangerously intoxicated rose by 52%, still less than that of young men, the percentage for which rose by just 9%. The piece explains that women have more fat, which retains alcohol, and less water, causing women to become intoxicated more quickly. She states that this could explain why alcohol-related liver and brain damage occur more quickly in alcoholic (my word) women than men.
So, women drink their alcohol in a form different from that of men—as if the alcohol in wine is different from that in beer or whiskey (!)—and DUIs and emergency room admissions are becoming more equal. That leaves a biological difference, which has nothing to do with any purported differences in how genders “abuse” the drug.
The article then turns to psychologist Mary Ellen Barnes, examining her ideas as to why women drink “differently” than men and, implicitly, agreeing with them.
“The baby’s crying, they’re not getting paid,” Barnes says. This results in boredom, anxiety and guilt, and of course drinking makes those feelings recede.
That’s preposterous. If that worked for even a few hours, we’d all drink addictively.
Worse, Barnes believes the alcoholic women she’s interviewed. She repeats their claim that “a few glasses [sliding] into a whole bottle…[is] an embarrassing habit that needs to be concealed.” Ms. Barnes, with all due respect, it’s not a “habit;” please save us from repeating the claims of practicing addicts, or even recovering ones without a decade or more of sobriety. It’s addiction. And it wouldn’t need to be concealed unless the behaviors are so awful they can be connected to the drinking—just like in men.
Worse, the article cites Ms. Barnes as claiming that the AA approach, which requires that members “tame their egos…may not be perfect for women whose biggest problem is not an excess of ego but a lack of it.” Ms. Barnes confuses ego, an inordinately large sense of self-importance, with self-esteem, or having a favorable view of self. Early-stage alcoholism causes egomania, which impels behaviors that gradually result in the implosion of self-esteem. Behaviors rooted in egomania may not be readily recognized, because they can rotate with depression and anxiety. They often masquerade as a need to wield power in subtle ways, such as by whoring oneself out to men—which is a terrific way to wield power over those men. Barnes claims that “women need to feel powerful, not like victims of something beyond their control,” such as becoming victim to sexual abuse and suffering from eating disorders. You’re confused, Ms. Barnes: they are victims of sexual abuse because they are children of alcoholics, or come from families filled with alcoholics, where sex is used as a means of wielding power over others. They inherit the biochemical predisposition to alcoholism and it looks like they drink because they were abused—which doesn’t explain similar children who grow up and drink normally (or not at all).
Glaser then claims that “studies show that after drinking, men report feeling more powerful…while women say it makes them feel more affectionate, sexy and feminine.” Never take anything an alcoholic says with more than a grain of salt. Many alcoholic women control men with sex; they simply don’t admit it until they are long in recovery, just as Don Juan types won’t admit they engaged in serial sexual conquests until they are clean and sober for years.
Finally, Glaser claims that “studies around the world have found that for those who are not severely alcohol-dependent, controlled drinking is possible.” The studies reported in Alcoholism Myths and Realities conclusively show that controlled drinking is impossible over extended periods. One study had such awful results that it had to be called off after four years because “it would be unethical to continue”; another, conducted by Mark and Linda Sobell at Patton State Hospital in California, seemed to have good results at the two-year mark but utterly failed by the 10th year, proving that while alcoholics can control their drinking for periods of time, they cannot do so forever. The author of Moderation Management, Audrey Kishline, who founded a group by the same name, relapsed and killed two innocents six years into her “controlled drinking” at a blood alcohol level of .28, three and one-half times the per se legal limit for driving.
Glaser even suggests that AA can be dangerous—after all, in Hawaii in 2010 an AA member with a history of violence who had been ordered to attend meetings met a woman in AA and killed her and her 13-year-old daughter. How many people do un-sober alcoholics kill? That’s like saying we should never imprison anyone because he might kill someone in prison.
I love The Wall Street Journal. However, this article is not only trash—it’s dangerous in that it perpetuates not just one or two, but numerous myths of addiction.