What would you do…if during a bike ride near a chuch-sponsored picnic in a campground, while carrying some extra meat, you run across a black bear—and you have alcoholic biochemistry? (TAR Lite # 27)
1. Speak softly to the bear and slowly back off?
2. Figuring the bear has smelled your food, throw it as far as you can off to the side and, making sure he’s heading for the food, ride off in the opposite direction?
3. Figuring the bear has smelled your food, throw it all at him and slowly ride away?
4. Taunt the bear by waving the meat in front of him and then toss small pieces to him a few times?
Congratulations if you selected # 4, because that’s what an unnamed man did near a campground north of Anchorage, Alaska. After tossing the first piece, the man—who “had been drinking”—tossed a second—and that is, reportedly, when the bear “went ballistic.” (We can only surmise what amount of taunting he actually did). Park rangers found the man washing blood off of himself and not very coherent. Authorities, piecing together scattered evidence for an attack that no one else witnessed (they couldn’t find the bear, either), figured the bear was “pretty much goaded” into the attack. The man was treated for puncture wounds and scratches at a nearby hospital. There’s no word on whether they suggested he stay on for treatment of his alcoholism.